What Did Jesus Teach About Marriage----- by Jack Wellman

What did Jesus teach about marriage? Did He forbid divorce under any circumstances or did He allow for exceptions? Here are some Bible verses about marriage from Jesus to see what He taught about marriage.
Marriage – A God-Ordained Institution

Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

There are many Bible verses about marriage but we are examining only those which Jesus taught about on the subject of marriage. First of all, marriage is a God-ordained, God-created institution that He blessed and saw as good. By God saying that “the two shall become one flesh” we could see this as intended to be a permanent situation where the two become one and stay as one and they become as “one flesh” meaning that they cannot (or at least should not) be separated (Matt 19:5). When Jesus quoted this verse He was establishing the fact that it was God’s intention to have the two be joined together and to stay together for life; the only exceptions would be for ongoing, unrepentant adultery or if one of the spouses would die.

Marriage – Between One Man and One Woman

Another point Jesus makes in Matthew 19 is that “he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’” (Matt 19:4-5). That is, marriage is to be between one man and one woman, and He was specific that it was created to be between one male and one female. This also debunks the notion that God allows for more than one wife or more than one husband. The “two shall become one” and not more than two or three can become one. Nowhere in the Bible does it teach that a man can multiply wives or a woman can have more than one husband. Even though some of the ancient kings and Patriarchs did, this was not the way that God intended marriage to be and when it did happen that a man had more than one wife, it created huge problems. The fact is that God told kings that they should not multiply wives (Duet 17:16-17) and If this applied to the king, how much more so to everyone else!

Grounds for Divorce

Matthew 5:31-32 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Jesus was crystal clear in who was permitted to be divorced and that the only exception was that of “sexual immorality.” Jesus’ teaching doesn’t allow for any other exceptions, however if a spouse or the spouse and his or her children are experiencing physical abuse then they not only need to separate themselves from that situation for the sake of their own safety, but they should also report that person to the police and that person who abuses a spouse or children deserves to be punished to the full extent of the law. They must be reported too because those who are in such positions of authority yield the sword in God’s sovereignty and they act with God’s authority (Rom 13). The only reason that Moses allowed certificates for divorce (this doesn’t mean that it was favorable in his or God’s eyes) was because of what Jesus said, “Because of your hardness of heart [since] from the beginning it was not so” (Matt 19:8). Jesus clearly said that “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you [which has more authority] that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matt 5:31-32). Jesus says that Moses allowed for divorce (Matt 19:8) “but I say to you” that whoever “divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matt 5:31-32). Naturally this applies to the woman and it is also for whoever divorces her husband, except on the ground of sexual immorality…and whoever marries a divorced man commits adultery too.

Adultery of the Heart?

Matthew 5:27-31 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.”

Here Jesus sees lusting after a woman or a man is like adultery that is being committed already in the heart. This is because that is where adultery begins…in lusting and in the heart. Jesus said more specifically that if they looked at another “with lustful intent” or in other words, their intent is to lust or commit adultery in their heart or in their mind (essentially the same thing). The heart is often spoken of as being the seat of the intellect by the Jews so “in the heart” is the same thing as being “in the mind.” Either way, lusting in the heart or mind for someone who is not your spouse might as well be committing adultery, even though it is not the actual physical act. This is why pornography is so destructive to marriages. The person who looks at pornography is sinning in their heart by lusting after what they see and it is with intent (intentionally) that they are doing it. If they actually had the woman or man in the image actually be there, you can almost be certain that the act of adultery would be fulfilled in reality.

Other Exceptions?

Paul talks about marriage elsewhere but in 1 Corinthians 7 there are parts of this chapter where he writes about an unbelieving spouse leaving or departing from the home meaning that the other spouse is not bound (1 Cor 7:25) but since I am restricting this article to those things which Jesus taught about marriage and divorce then that is something that will not be covered here.

Conclusion

When God ordained and created the institution of marriage, this was meant to be permanent and there were no allowances for divorce. In fact, among the Patriarchs and the kings of Israel, divorce was not even considered an option. The only reason divorce entered the picture was, as Jesus said, the hardness of their hearts, not because God allowed for it. You have read Jesus’ teachings about divorce and remarriage. When He spoke of it He indicated that it was to be forever with the only exception of one spouse committing sexual immorality (Matt 5:31-32). The word “immorality” is from the Greek word “porneia” which covers many things like, “illicit sexual intercourse, adultery, homosexuality, intercourse with animals, with a close relative (Lev 18),” and “sex with a divorced man or woman” (Matt 5:31-32). All of these things involve lusting and lusting is the same thing as committing adultery in the mind (or heart) and Jesus equates this as being the same thing as adultery. Jesus gave a final warning to those who commit, not just adultery, but sexual immorality which covers (under the Greek “porneia”) things like illicit sexual intercourse, adultery, homosexuality, intercourse with animals, sex with a close relative, and, with a divorced man or woman (we could easily include viewing pornography). If this is not repented of, listen to what Jesus says; “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell” (Matt 5:29-30).

Article by Pastor Jack Wellman

Jack Wellman is Senior Writer at What Christians Want to Know whose mission is to equip, encourage, and energize Christians and to address questions about the believer’s daily walk with God and the Bible. You can follow Jack on Google Plus or check out his book Blind Chance or Intelligent Design